Asda special!

Some things just can't be placed elsewhere. Have you been speeding and got fined? Or spotted a nice new Volvo on the web somewhere? All non-480 messages can be posted in this part of the board.

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welsh-dragon
Can tell where the 480 was built
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Asda special!

Post by welsh-dragon » Wed Nov 02, 2005 9:35 am

One day, in line at the works cafeteria, Bill says to Ronnie behind
him,
My elbow hurts like hell. I suppose I'd better see a doctor."

"Listen, don't waste your time down at the surgery," Ronnie replies.
There's a diagnostic computer at Asda. Just give it a urine
sample
and the computer will tell you what's wrong, and what to do about
it.
It takes ten seconds and only costs five pounds.....a lot quicker
and better than a doctor".
So Bill collects a urine sample in a small jar and takes it to
Asda. He deposits five pounds, and the computer lights up and asks for
the urine sample. He pours the sample into the slot and waits.
Ten seconds later, the computer ejects a printout:
You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water and avoid
heavy activity. It will improve in two weeks".

That evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was,
Bill began wondering if the computer could be fooled. He mixed some tap
water, a stool sample from his dog, urine samples from his wife
and daughter, and masturbated into the mixture for good measure.
Bill hurried back to Asda, eager to check what would happen.He deposits five pounds, pours in his concoction, and awaits the results.
The computer prints the following:
1. Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener.
2. Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo.
3. Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her into rehab.
4. Your wife is pregnant. Twins. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer.
5. And if you don't stop playing with yourself, your elbow will
> never get better.!!!!!..........thank you for shopping at Asda :D
'08 Mazda 6 Sport
480 Celebration-37k....SOLD
1996 Volvo 850R estate

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Ally
Can tell where the 480 was built
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Location: Sitting in the sun

Post by Ally » Wed Nov 02, 2005 9:38 am

:lol:
Fred - 1995 480 2.0i ES - Dark Green Metallic (106,000 miles)
Dave - 1993 480 2.0i ES - Steel Grey Metallic (148,000 miles)

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martinholmesuk
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Location: West Sussex

Post by martinholmesuk » Wed Nov 02, 2005 9:47 am

rofl :D
Volvo 940 Turbo 19T (real Volvo :P)
Audi TT

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sallysal
480 Veteran
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Location: trying to find time to get on the forum

Post by sallysal » Wed Nov 02, 2005 10:27 am

:rofl:
Sx
1995 M reg 2.0l flamer, with Ltd Ed interior, sadly departed, but not forgotten

Joolz
Friend of Club 480 Europe
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Location: Durham

Post by Joolz » Wed Nov 02, 2005 11:49 am

:hopping:


Ahhhhh thats the cure for tennis elbow ;)
Volvo 480 Celebration 466 Dark Grey Metallic (PUS)
previously
Volvo 480 2 ltr Paris Blue
Volvo 480 2 ltr Peacock Green
Volvo 480 1.7 White
Volvo 760 GLE Saloon 2.8 V6 Blue

stu chacks
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Post by stu chacks » Wed Nov 02, 2005 8:20 pm


LOL, and I thought the 'loose change into tokens' machine in Sainos was good! :D

Stu.

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Big Brother
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Location: North Wales

Post by Big Brother » Wed Nov 02, 2005 8:29 pm

:rofl: Thats a good one
Image

2001 V70

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