Page 1 of 12
StuChacks Friday Joke... (et l'emploi pour dimanche)
Posted: Fri Aug 26, 2005 9:17 am
by stu chacks
See what you make of this one Sal! 
An Irishman an Englishman and a Scotsman were sitting in a bar in Sydney. The view was fantastic, the beer excellent, and the food exceptional
"But" said the Scotsman. "I still prefer the pubs back home. Why in Glasgee there's a little bar called McTavish's. Now the landlord there goes out of his way for the locals so much that when you buy 4 drinks he will buy the 5th drink for you."
" Well." said the Englishman "At my local, the Red Lion, the barman there will buy you your 3rd drink after you buy the first 2."
"Ahhh that's not'in'" said the Irishman "Back home in Dublin dere's Ryan's Bar. Now du moment ya set foot in dat place they'll buy you a drink, den another, all the drinks you like. Then when you've had enough drink they'll take ya upstairs and see that you get laid. All on da house."
The Englishman and Scotsman immediately pour scorn on the Irishman's claims.
He swears every word is true. "Well" said the Englishman "Did this actually happen to you?"
"Not meeself personally no" said the Irishman, "But it did happen to me sister."
Stu.
Posted: Fri Aug 26, 2005 3:32 pm
by coyote1980
Posted: Mon Aug 29, 2005 1:09 pm
by Gimle
Posted: Fri Sep 02, 2005 12:31 pm
by sallysal
Well it took me a week to 'get' that joke Stu.......................literally!!!!........I've haven't been around for a while -I'm just back from holiday in Europe.
good joke tho!......................
it's friday again.............where's today's joke then?
Sx
Woof woof.
Posted: Fri Sep 02, 2005 1:43 pm
by stu chacks
You jet setter you Sal! Hope you had a good break.
Bit busy today (having to cram 5days work into 4!), so this one's short and sweet like a donkey's gallop, as my grandad used to say!.
Man walks into a doctors office.
Man: "Doctor. doctor I keep thinking I'm a dog"
Doctor: "Oh I see, well take a seat on the couch and let's see what we can do for you."
Man: "I'm not allowed on the couch."
Well, waddya expect off a mini-milk lollipop stick!
Have a good weekend everyone, weather looks crackin'!
Stu.
Posted: Wed Sep 07, 2005 1:30 pm
by Gimle
At least it's short
Posted: Wed Sep 07, 2005 9:04 pm
by Joolz
gimle.......
totally inappropriate avatar...why do we have to keep seeing this......duh
Posted: Wed Sep 07, 2005 9:31 pm
by Brasco
Joolz wrote:gimle.......
totally inappropriate avatar...why do we have to keep seeing this......duh
Yeah... what a load of arse.
Posted: Wed Sep 07, 2005 9:50 pm
by martinholmesuk
Joolz wrote:gimle.......
totally inappropriate avatar...why do we have to keep seeing this......duh
We (the guys on the forum) like it!
Posted: Wed Sep 07, 2005 10:00 pm
by guitarcarfanatic
Amen brother!
Posted: Thu Sep 08, 2005 8:21 am
by Gimle
New one (avatar)
Posted: Fri Sep 09, 2005 12:11 pm
by stu chacks
On a slight political note this week....
Sky news get it right for a change...
http://i3.photobucket.com/albums/y91/stuchacks/bush.jpg
Bush heads down to New Orleans to do what he does best....
http://i3.photobucket.com/albums/y91/st ... shvaca.jpg
Stu.
One for the birthday boy.
Posted: Fri Sep 16, 2005 4:05 pm
by stu chacks
Birthday Present
A wife decides to take her husband to a strip club for his birthday.
They arrive at the club and the doorman says, "Hey, Daniel! How ya doin'?"
His wife is puzzled and asks if he's been to this club before.
"Oh, no," says Daniel. "He's on my bowling team."
When they are seated, a waitress asks Daniel if he'd like his usual and brings over a Amstel.
His wife is becoming increasingly uncomfortable and says,"How did she know that you drink Amstel?"
"She's in the Ladies' Bowling League, honey. We share lanes with them."
A stripper then comes over to their table, throws her arms around Daniel, and says "Hi Dan. Want your usual table dance, big boy?"
Daniel's wife, now furious, grabs her purse and storms out of the club.
Daniel follows and spots her getting into a cab. Before she can slam the door, he jumps in beside her. He tries desperately to explain how the stripper must have mistaken him for someone else, but his wife is having none of it. She is screaming at him at the top of her lungs, calling him every name in the book.
The cabby turns his head and says, "Looks like you picked up a real bitch tonight, Daniel."
Stu.
Disclaimer:All characters in this joke were played by actors and do not represent members, relatives or friends of the forum.
Posted: Fri Sep 16, 2005 5:09 pm
by Milosz_480
I love this one
Posted: Tue Sep 20, 2005 7:51 am
by Gimle
This one is good too
The Therapist....
Posted: Fri Sep 23, 2005 10:09 am
by stu chacks
THE THERAPIST
A woman comes home and tells her husband, "Remember those headaches I've been having all these years?".............. "Well, they're gone."
"No more headaches?" the husband asks,
"What happened?"
His wife replies, "Margie referred me to a hypnotist".
He told me to stare at myself in a mirror and repeat :
"I do not have a headache," "I do not have a headache,"
"I do not have a headache."
It worked! The headaches were all gone.
The husband replies, "Well, that is wonderful."
His wife then says, "You know, you haven't exactly been a ball of fire
in the bedroom these last few years."
"Why don't you go see the hypnotist and see if he can do anything for
that?"
The husband agrees to try it.
Following his appointment, the husband comes home, rips off his
clothes, picks up his wife, carries her into the bedroom, and puts her
on the bed. Then he says, "Don't move, I'll be right back."
He goes into the bathroom, comes back a few minutes later , jumps in
the bed, and makes passionate love to his wife like never before.
His wife says, "Boy, that was wonderful!"
The husband says, "Don't move! I'll be right back."
He goes back into the bathroom, comes back out, and hops in the bed
for round two.
Only this time it was even better than the first.
The wife sits up with her head is spinning.
Her husband again says, "Don't move, I'll be right back."
With that, he proceeds to the bathroom.
This time, his wife quietly follows him.
She sees him standing in front of the mirror saying:
"She's not my wife", "She's not my wife",
"She's not my wife!"
That's all folks!
Stu.
Posted: Fri Sep 23, 2005 11:28 am
by Ettore Bugatti
Posted: Fri Sep 23, 2005 11:56 am
by Ally
Posted: Fri Sep 23, 2005 12:34 pm
by vins480t
wud that work???
neah
Posted: Sun Sep 25, 2005 8:06 pm
by sallysal
keep 'em coming Stu!
Sx
